Have you seen.. whats her name?

I may not be around much for a bit. A few days.. I dont know. It just seems so much as happened lately and to be honest I'm confused about.. everything. I don't know what I feel about anything anymore. At this point it is all too much to take in, so I am choosing the only thing I know to do and that is to back away and hide for a while.

I have let Second Life .. be my life for some time now. It was a safe path away from real life that has not always been good to me. So I made my fantasy world where all things can be good and happy and perfect. But now I see that Second Life is the same.

I don't want to hurt anymore, I don't want to hurt.. anyone, including myself. And maybe in living in this pretend world I have done just that. I stopped living at all in the real world.

So, I'm going to stop and try to reconnect at least in small ways, to this real life I have... had... wished I had.

Maybe if I put even a small amount of time into it I can find whatever it is.. I'm missing. because I have lost a spark, a flame, a fire that you need in this life to want to get up every morning.

If nothing else, at least I will have known I tried.

Not saying I may not log on. Just know I may not be.. as available as I have been. All of the things happening lately have just made me really stop and wonder what I am doing.. in so many areas of my life. So I need to take a closer look, through only my own eyes.