Sighs.. I was challenged to write something happy here.. and I have searched for two days to find that happy center that I have to draw from to put pen to paper.
I know, in my lifetime of 55 years, there have been happy moments.
I can't find a single one that isn't surrounded with a sad or a hurt.
It is as if I am not meant to retain those happy times.
They are like fleeting thoughts of.. "Oh there is one.. uh no. hmm"
With each happy moment came a price, an after effect, a crushing fall.
I do not look at my life as sad, or unsuccessful, but there is a reason I have not been able to sit and write my life story. I only have one view point. It is a book I would not want to read. A story that isn't meant to be told. A life better taken in small doses.
So I must admit my failure to meet this challenge. For now.
Yeah there was a time these names were all part of the regular language.. a punch line in a joke.. even if it bothered you.. You kept your mouth closed and pretended to go along so you wouldn't look "uncool"
Then one day people found their voice and said HEY! Knock it off!! .. and now to use these is totally unacceptable..
But.. did we learn anything?
How many of you have used the term "short bus" "window-licker" "retard" "special" lately.. and got a big laugh from the crowd??
I can answer that.. a lot of you. And I know you aren't mean people.. it's just the new cool slam.. the easy target for a punch line, because let's face it, they aren't standing there to defend themselves to speak up and say HEY!
Please think twice before you do it again.. it hurts. It hurts some of us real bad. There has to be a better way to be funny then to slam those that can't always speak up for themselves.. isn't there???
He walked the streets .. tired. He was not unhappy, but those who saw him could see how hard life had been on him. The lines on his face, his worn crippled hands, his tattered clothes, the slow pace of age worn legs.
Each day he waited in line at the shelter, knowing there would be a free hot meal waiting on the other side of the walls. The people there only asked that he sat in a church pew and listened to their words for a bit, then he could quickly eat the meal handed him.
The directors were kind. Most nights a cot was offered to him and he knew he could stay in the safety of the shelter, but each night he quietly shook his head and headed out the back door and down the alley.
His eyes darting back and forth to make sure he wasnt followed as he ducked low and crawled beneath the old bridge deep inside the forgotten garden of the once popular but now neglected cemetary.
Lifting the flap of the large refrigerator box that was now his home, he settled into the worn blankets. His body rocking back and forth to chase off the cold of the night.
It wasn't long before his eyes closed and he drifted off to sleep. Dreaming most nights of the friends and family he had left behind. Flashes of sad eyes, beckoning fingers, calls for him to come home.
Each morning he would awake, shake off those feelings and sit and listen to the birds, calling to one another, relaying messages. He would stay most of the day in or near his home. Being one with the solitude.
He knew most didnt understand his choice to live this way, he couldnt explain it even if he tried, which he never did, but for the first time in all of his living years the voices were quiet and he was finally at peace.
These were the times he smiled. When no one was around to see.
Life Is Too Short, Break The Rules, Forgive Quickly, Kiss Slowly, Love Truly, Laugh Uncontrollably, And Never Regret Anything That Made You Smile. Life May Not Be The Party We Hoped For, But While We're Here, We Should Dance...