Saturday, April 25, 2009

I am so proud!

What an amazing evening I just had. So much fun.

I have talked a bit about my daughter. She goes to a day program for handicapped adults. The main focus of her group is drama and music. They put on some excellent performances mostly for the local retirement homes... but tonight they did their second big, big performance at a local theater that packs in big name performers.

It was... an outstanding show... and I wanted to share the (okay badly done lol) video I shot with my little camera.

Ladies and gentlemen.. my daughter Amy:

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Where is my line?

Since I started this account under my SL name... I have decided to blur the lines between SL and RL.. which gets easier and easier to do as I spend more time in SL.

While some enter the SL world to be and do things they never could be.. I find that I fall more into the category of... deesue is so much like RL me. Likes to have fun, tease, flirt, shop, play, and loves to be with friends... she also needs her quiet, alone times... to just be... deesue.

I live in a house built by Shinigama Kayo. It is amazing. Big, beautiful and.. peaceful. When my music stream isn't playing .. you can hear water, chimes and birds. (The same is true in my RL home)

Deesue and I share a love for clothes and shoes. Although she wears a lot more stilleto's then I do lol. We both have wayyy more than the average person would seem necessary. Clothes... in RL or SL.. I love to be creative, am well known for changing my outfits to match the activity of the moment, and have to do mounds of laundry in RL because of that.

I am finding I am getting more adventurous in deesue's attire. I entered a bathing suit contest last night... I wear booty shorts that show half my booty lol, and in RL I would never go dancing in silks lol.. but a conversation I had last night with Jane2 got me to thinking... I really DO have a line I don't cross.. even in SL.

Whether RL or SL... I have certain parts of "me" that are saved for that .. special person that I may choose to .. ummm share a pose ball with lol

I wonder if that will change after I have been on SL for a longer time? In some ways I hope it doesn't. It hasn't changed for me in all these years in RL...

How about you? Is your avatar an extension of RL you?? Or just a cartoon figure with no conscience or consequences?

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

My Biological Mom .. the novel

Recently, I was asked about my family, specifically my relationship with my mom, hmmm. I have been trying to figure out, for a few months, how to put into writing something about her. She is an important part of why I am, what I am, where I am, and who I am..

My mom is a very unique person. I love her very much for bringing me into the world. She had been raised by her grandparents who, when mom was only 14 gave her their blessing to marry my father who was 21 and in the Navy. (no she was not pregnant) It took her a while TO get pregnant.. but I was born 2 weeks before her 16th birthday. Then 13 months later she had my brother Leonard and not long after that my brother Tom.. who oops, has a different father .. she and dad divorced soon after.. and there she was, an 18 year old with 3 babies... a baby herself.. who hadn't had a childhood.. it is no wonder why she lost custody of us soon after the divorce.

I don't have a lot of early memories of her, but I have the image of her being a good mother.. I just think she was too young. We were reunited again when I was 15... 10 long years later.

When I hear of her life in those years. I am glad we were not with her. She gave birth to two more children (both of which she gave up custody of) she married I think 3 times in those years.. the marriage thing with my mom is a confusing subject.. It is hard to pinpoint exact numbers.. and then there is the issue of legal marriages and not actually legal marriages.. (like the minor detail of ..had you actually divorced the last one before the ceremony of the next one?) During that time she also did 17 months in a federal prison for check fraud, and the rest of the years she did.. pretty much .. anything it took to have money in her pocket and a roof over her head. It would not have been a good place for us 3 kids to be.

Life with mom as a teenager was fun! She was more like a friend then a mom, which to a 15 year old is great.. now that I am older I realize it wasn't in my best interest. I do give my mom credit for teaching me to be more confident in myself, she also taught me how to have fun. Unfortunately she also "let" me smoke, skip school, date, shoplifted in front of me, taught me the art of stocking up on groceries by writing bad checks on the way out of town, etc.

Living with her I witnessed so many different lifestyles from the poorest to some of the richest. While I only lived with her for about 2 years (off and on) before I moved out on my own.. we packed a lot of life into that time.

I did move back in with her a few times after that for a month or two here and there.. and then much later on ... she moved in with me for a while.

The biggest example my mom has been to me.. is what NOT to be or do. I don't say that to be cruel, I know that for the most part she has a good heart.. but she is the queen of bad choices... in her friends, in her lifestyle choices, in her life.

Anything that I have done wrong or bad in my life.. my mom has done worse. Sadly, it reflects in her later adult life. She is still a beautiful woman but you can see how living hard has affected every part of her. She is worn and tired. She has had strokes which could be from genetics or methamphetamines. Honesty is not one of her strong suits.

At age 52 she and her present husband (number 7? 8?) were a major part of a shoot out over a big drug buy gone bad and an 18 year old boy ended up dead. It was later proven that although my mom played Annie Oakley and shot every shot she could (along with her husband) the fatal shot ended up being from the gun of their friend... who is still in prison, and very rightly so. My mom and step father did about 5 years each for the parts they played. No offense, but it should have been more. It was their deal, their confrontation.

I ended up paying all of both of their restitution bills so they could leave southern California.. and because of their probations they were released to the custody of my area and in all technicality to me. I purchased them a 5th wheel trailer and they lived in my driveway for wayyyyy too long. I employed her husband at my business until I couldn't take it another day and I had to uh.. let him go. (oh the guilt!)

Part of the reason I am here in Florida, instead of Washington state.. is because the Bank of deesue could not afford to keep its doors open anymore. My clients only withdrew funds but never made payments in return. Since then, these clients have still attempted to use said closed accounts.. but when the banker is across the United States it is much easier to rubber stamp with "request denied"

I know this isn't what you may expect as a blog... but it really isn't a sad story... it's just "life with my mom". I have always been more her mom then the other way around... I find she holds some kind of spell over me... I can forgive her for most anything, I will always love her, and worry about her.. but this baby bird can no longer let the momma bird back in her nest. I finally had to let her go.

Wow, this ended up long.. sorry if you made it to the end.. chalk this one up to Facebook therapy... I needed to get this out. Now, to start coming up with normal blogs.. hmm what ARE normal blogs?

*Oh.. and for anyone that read back to older blogs.. another clue into "Two truths and a Lie" revealed.*

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Solid Potato Salad

This has got to be one of the most unusual music videos I have seen in a while! Keep watching past the first minute.... youch! Flexible!