Saturday, June 15, 2013
Recurring Dreams
I stand in the middle of a huge arena. A skating rink maybe.. all I know is it round, with highly polished floors, slippery. I have a ball.. like a bowling ball but with no holes.
No one is there to tell me the rules but somehow I know I need to get this ball to the side.
The floor is flat, it looks so easy. I roll the ball as hard as I can but no matter what.. before it can reach the edge.. it rolls back to me. Over and over I try.
Sometimes it gets so close I start to celebrate, then there that damn ball is right by my feet again. Sometimes even though I push it hard it only rolls a few feet then comes rushing back to me. Over and over all night.. I wake up frustrated..
I dream this dream over and over for most of the years of my childhood. Every once in a while it sneaks into my adulthood.. exactly the same.. and never any success.
What does it mean and why can I never get completely rid of it.. sighs. I'm so glad, for the most part I forget what I've dreamt as soon as I wake up.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I want to
Tears well
in my eyes
My heart
aches
for trust
taken
I can't
evolve.
Arms open
to me
I can't
enjoy
I want to.
Fear rules
my life
I can't
forgive
I need to.
See me
broken
I can't
forget
I don't
know why.
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