Easy. you don't talk back. I can say what I want without someone responding. Without seeing a sad face, a disappointed look, a smile when I don't want to see one. The safety of non-reaction.
Yes, that is why I blog.
It has been almost 5 years now since my daughter lost her sight. My life changed then. It has never been the same. I have never been the same. It was more than just her losing her sight (which was astronomical) .. it was the days that I lost faith, lost hope.. that, somehow, no matter what we went through it would all be okay.
Did our life go on? Do we live an okay life? Do we love each other with all our hearts? Yes.
Can I ever look at a problem now and see anything but the worst outcome? No.. and it has changed me.
I wish I had someone to turn to.. to just .. be there.. but I cant, because I cant be real with anyone ever again. I need the safety of non-reaction.
Re-reads what she wrote.. posts and returns the smile to her face, walking back into the world to be what everyone expects her to be.. *whispers* I will see you again soon. there is so much I need to be able to say.