The holidays suck.
I thought I wasn't going to be alone this year.
Trapped in all this Christmas cheer.
I keep trying to participate, to enjoy.
I hate you for doing this to me.
For leaving me alone.
I hate that I hate you.
I wish you had never come into my life
then I wouldn't have been reminded
of what I'm missing.
I've asked for forgiveness ..
for hating you.
Each day I hate you again.
And each day my heart aches,
not for losing you,
but for being alone.
It's hard to be alone in a crowd
especially at the holidays.
I wish you loneliness,
deep empty sadness,
because that is what you gave me for Christmas.