If you could do anything else...

If you could be or do something different than what you are now... Had life handed you a different course... what do you think you would have liked it to be??

This may sound a little odd, but I LOVE tug boats. Not just the cute little one that was in the fairy tales.. although that may be where my love of tug boats came from... but the thought of being in charge of this little boat that has so much power and pull, that without it the big freighters would never be able to make it in and out of the harbors....

Maybe that's part of it too.. the feeling of being so indispensible... of being needed... Well geez.. now all these freudien thoughts are trying to take away the enjoyment of my fantasy... lol nahhh ! I can go down to the harbor and just stare at these sometimes very ugly old tug boats.. and it's like they just call to me.

Of course it would be the Lil Deesue.. and I would fix it up with curtains and comfortable pilot seats... Probably in pinks, so everyone knew it was a girls tug... and I'd always wear pink and white outfits. It would be so cute... but with a kick ass engine in it so that it could pull anything, and if I entered it into a tug boat race, it would blow the other guy's doors off!

Oh my gosh, that would be so great!! Captain Deesue of the Lil Deesue tug lines at your service! Our motto.. "We don't just think we can.. we know we can!!"

How about you?? Got an off the wall wish that hasn't been fulfilled because life took you a different direction?

If the jeans fit.....

I rarely remember my dreams. I sometimes will remember little flashes of one but as soon as I try to tell someone about it, the details just fly out of my brain.

I am guessing this has, partly, to do with the fact that I always have very innocent non-sensical (sp?) dreams. When I say they involve bunnies and skipping in the park I really am not exaggerating... since I gave up watching horror films and got past my childhood "stuff" I have been the queen of non important unassuming dreams.

Last night I dreamt that Russell Simmons (the hip hop record guy, who also has a few lines of clothing) tried all night to help me find the perfect pair of jeans. I was there with one of the ladies that was on "The Next Top Model" and a room full of other girls. He was personally doing all the measurements for each girl, handing them a pair of jeans and sure enough.. each one walked out looking fantastic.. they were perfect!

But for some reason he kept measuring my waist size as 60" and handing me these really baggy, crotch to the knees type, and the pants only hanging to just past my knees. I kept trying to tell him they were way too big and definitely not my style.. that I really wanted a pair that went all the way to my shoes... but he swore "just for me" he would have them altered to fit perfect and that once I saw them done I would love them.

The strange thing is I had to get up twice last night to go to the bathroom (I really need to cut down on the liquids before bed..lol) but when I got back into bed and fell back to sleep... there was Russell Simmons handing me those jeans again..lol.. and every time I tried them on again, no matter how many adjustments were made, they still didn't fit...

I was pretty frustrated by this morning that I still didn't know which pair of jeans were the perfect ones for me. I sure know which ones to avoid though! lol

Hehe.. aren't you all glad I shared that dream with you? Now do you see why it is probably better that I forget the details of most of them? lol

We're here to stay...

You passed us in the store day

We saw you look then glance away

We tried to smile to let you know

we didn't mind we know we're slow

We've learn to walk with heads held high

as people crowd us and loudly sigh

She may be limping but we don't care

and if you'd ask we'd gladly share

The miracles that we face gaily

witnessing the joy that she has daily

You see we never thought she'd walk

the doctors said she'd never talk

We will not leave

We're here to stay

your attitude is wasted on us today.

These words have been written in my mind time and time again over the years I finally decided to put them on paper the other night.

For my daughter Amy. She is my light, my life, my joy, my angel without her my life would not be complete and I would not be the person I am today.

(photo taken about 2 years ago now.. back when I had real short hair)

Another day in paradise.. yep that sums it up..

What a day.. headed into work today to shoot my order for tomorrow, then raced for home with all good intentions of cleaning house.. but... what is this through my windshield?? Sunshine! Ahhhhh.. my world is normal again..



So instead of cleaning I found myself outside and as I sat in my chair staring ahead. listening to the birds... enjoying the splash from my calla lily fountain.... I thought of some of you... cold ... lost in winter... So for a moment... come vacation at my home.

(yep, the top pic is my magnet collection which is outside in my screen room)




relax in a lounge chair... oh and through those swinging doors?? an outdoor shower! and if you have never showered outdoors with the sun beaming down .. omg you don't know what you are missing!



we can barbecue... burgers, hotdogs, chicken and ribs.. yummmyyyy!




then out we go under the mango tree... if its in May... mmmm fresh mango's... but anytime is a good time to play in the backyard.



Oh yeah.... welcome to my little piece of paradise... glad you could visit.. hope you come again..

Who is in charge here?

When I was a child I used to love to lay out on the front lawn and just watch the non-stop activity. Not traffic, not the neighbors, but nature.

I remember one day watching a spider spin a web for hours.. I have always been fascinated by spider webs and their intricacies.. but to actual get to witness this one spider put down its anchor lines... climbing to the top and swinging down right to the area he needed the next line to go to.. time after time after time. Then all the time spent building the lines in between going round and round, so amazing. After that I would always think of that spider, when I accidently walk through a web. Made me feel guilty knowing some spider would have to spend hours rebuilding, because of one uncaring giant.

I also loved to stare for hours at a colony of ants moving from one hill to another. Or seeing a group of them working together to move a big stick along.. or one big dead cricket. Once in a while just to mess with them I would pour a little liquid right in the area they were going, or place a stick in the way just to see them work out how to go around the hazard.

As I caused these deesue made disasters it made me wonder, as I layed there staring at the sky, watching the clouds go by.. if someone else was out there staring down at me watching me stare at the ants or watching the spider.. was that why that sudden little rain storm just "popped up" out of nowhere? Or when I was riding my bike and that medium sized rock was right in my way and I went sprawling onto the gravel... was that some big deesue up there.. manipulating my world for their own amusement?? Was I just a little ant in someone elses world??

When you were a kid.. did you ever think of things like this?

There is no place like....

SL! I swear, without a doubt, I am one of the luckiest people in the world... yes on the whole planet.

How I could have been so lucky to have accidently joined in with the best group of people from the very start... it just.. well, I have no words for how much you all have changed my life.

(okay to a non-SL person, I am sure that sounds ultimately geekified!) but it is so true and I soon learned we are so much more than just avatars in sim settings.

The birthday party thrown in my honor last night, will be etched in my mind all year.

I am kicking myself, over and over, that I was so overwhelmed with all of the attention and emotion that I forgot to click and get a picture. The decorations were amazing, the cake was the cutest of all I have seen thus far! and I received gift after gift all night long.

And now I can officially take that off of my "I have never done this". Yes, it took 50 years and a very special group of friends to finally get my own, very first birthday party. I know that may sound odd to those with normal childhoods and lives.. but yes.. it was my first.

I spent it in tears. You all mean so much to me, and you truly have changed my world in so many ways. Okay, flashback.. I am a sappy lady.. now I am crying again.

A woman's place is in the home!

I challenge you first to think back to the 50's. Back when mom was home night and day, cooking, cleaning, ironing a nice crease in dad's shirt's and making sure each brown bag lunch had the proper balance of nutrition plus that one little sweet treat that you knew was her special recipe (and highly trade worthy).

Children were well behaved, well dressed, knew they were loved and treasured and marriages lasted forever. Everyone knew their place, everyone knew their jobs. Dad's were the bread winners, the disciplinarians and they handled all major decisions. Things were so perfect then!

Then women demanded the right to be part of the work force, started leaving their kids with strangers, started elbowing men out of their rightful positions as the decision makers, the leaders.. even as far up as the government.

Now, 50 years later our world is in an uproar. There is rampant violence, our children are out of control, we have more wars than we have ever had, and it all stems from the emotional impact women have infiltrated into every part of our society.

Our government has the lowest approval rating in history.. can we blame our (just ex'd) president? No way! It is only because he was forced to let women like Condoleesa Rice (backed by a hormone packed bunch of women supporters) make political decisions.

Our justice system is falling apart.. why? Women on the bench as Supreme Court Justices! Our state governments are also falling apart with the emotionalism of the over abundance of female congressional and district chair holders. It is just a matter of time before they vote to change our flag to pink, oystershell and aqua!

Go home ladies, put on your aprons, start that bread to rising and take care of your man... then our world can go back to being the great place it used to be!

okay, okay I am soooo joking! lol (I actually wrote this about a year ago for a writing challenge issued on yahoo.. to write a convincing argument on something you feel the opposite about. I ran across it this morning and it cracked me up so thought I would share it)

Hmmm.. what would YOU have picked to write about?

Happy Birthday!

Fifty

I don't know what I expected I would feel like, look like today. But whatever it was.. I don't.

How can I possibly be 50? I can so clearly remember 15, 20, 30, 40..

Why do I still see that young me in the mirror? Will I always see her? Will I ever see what others see?

Do I want to see that me? Maybe not.

Have I accomplished all I thought I would? No. But I also have not let myself down ..

Without trying to sound egotistical... I am so proud of where I am, what I am, who I am, where I am headed.

Thank you to everyone that has befriended me along the way. I hope I can be, for all of you, what you have been for me.

I can't begin to imagine what the future holds, but I look forward to it!

(Dancing, even by myself, a wonderful way to start a new decade of life.)

Who turned off the heat???

Good grief I am ready to pack up and move to Florida .. it is freezing here!

Yikes! I live in Florida!

What the heck is going on???

It was in the low 30's this morning... so cold I had to wear a turtleneck.. good thing I saved a few from my many years of cold living in Washington state. What a shame that we got rid of all of our coats! Tonight is going to drop even colder..

How am I supposed to get a tan out in the backyard tomorrow?? Oh this is so unfair!

All my poor houseplants live outside in the Florida room... where can I get some plant blankies???

Mother Nature.. what have we done to tick you off? Are you feeling the affects of the economy too? Can't afford to tilt the sun in our direction right now????

It's here! It's here!

omg.. I am so excited for today...

for our future...

I am just red, white and blue from head to toe..

(you will have to trust me on this) lol

let the fun, the future... begin!